To Honor You

First, I want to thank those of you who commented on my "Fix You" layout about our Alex.  Many promised to pray for him, and we really appreciate it.  Some people won't understand, but Alex truly was a member of our family.  Jon and I adopted him when we had been married for less than a year, so he was deeply woven into the fabric of our lives.  He was our "baby" for the four years before we had Paige, and of course he continued to be our baby up until the end.

We made the decision to put Alex to sleep on Wednesday.  It was and continues to be a gutwrenching, agonizing decision.  There is so much guilt connected to the idea of calling the vet and arranging for your child to be put to sleep.  The grief and anguish comes in waves.  In those times, I try to remind myself of how much pain he really was in.  It would have been selfish to keep him alive just because we didn't want to let him go.  It had gotten to be a terrible struggle for Alex to have to go up and down the stairs to our yard for bathroom breaks.  We had to help him lift his back legs to get up off the floor.  His eyes were sad most of the time.  We had run to the end of all medical options and prescriptions, and he was getting worse.

Thankfully, the girls are taking it much easier than Jon and I are.  Alex wouldn't have wanted them to be sad.  He hated it when any of us were crying or upset.  He's feeling better now, up in heaven...but we keep looking for him here.  We keep thinking we hear the sound of his collars jingling.  It's hard.  So hard.  And so sad.  He is everywhere in our house, in our yard, in our hearts. 

I woke up early this morning working through the idea I'd had last night.  Humans have obituaries when they die.  I wanted our Alex to have one too.  I wanted to preserve those memories and quirky things that made Alex everything he was to us.  It's hard to understand now, but I know there will come a time where seeing this layout framed on our wall will only bring smiles and not more tears.

To read the obituary, click on the layout, and it will be made bigger and easier to see.

Thank you all for taking the time to remember our Alex with us. 

I know there are plenty of other pressing sorrows in this world, but thank you for helping to share ours.

Wendy